April 21, 2002
Among the writings from the Holocaust comes this three sentence jewel of faith and wisdom and courage: "I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when feeling it not. I believe in God even when he is silent."1 Using this jewel, permit me to look again at today's first reading—where God seems to be silent—and share with you some things that I believe.
I believe that God was with the disciples as their numbers increased. I believe that God is with us as we welcome new members, as we grow with God's blessing, and we are growing.
I believe that God was with those who prepared the food to be shared at the tables. I believe that God was with those who served the food at table. I believe God is with those among us who find ways to serve others—making a blanket that will warm a child in Africa dying of AIDS, distributing food on Monday morning for FIND, helping build a home with Habitat for Humanity.
I believe God was with those who sat at the
table and accepted the food from others. I
believe God is with the child snuggled into the blanket, the child
whose face we may never see (God is with her). I believe God is
with each person who comes to the FIND distribution point in Rancho
Mirage. I believe God is with the family who receives their home
from the people working in Habitat for Humanity.
I believe God was with Stephen in the moment of his calling, and his ordination. I believe God is with each of you, called by name in baptism, washed with the waters of baptism. I believe God is with each of you, called to be student, or father, or mother, or doctor, or mechanic, or sales representative or teacher. I believe God is with each of you who, in your best moments, allow God's power and grace to shine right through you as student, or father, or mother, or doctor or mechanic or sales representative or teacher.
I believe that God was with Stephen as he spoke without flinching to those who desired his destruction. I believe that God is with you and with me in our moments of crisis when we step up and speak the truth without flinching. And while I rejoice that Stephen spoke so clearly, and while I sometimes show the same determination, I sometimes fail. In those moments, I am put in mind of Peter on the night Jesus was arrested. Peter, singled out as leader of the Twelve, denying that he even knew Jesus—three times. Quite a contrast in these two images, Stephen the courageous speaker of truth and Peter the scared, Peter the denier.
I believe that God was with Peter even as he spoke his third denial. I believe that God was with Peter as the cock crowed and he came to a full realization of his utter cowardice and betrayal. I believe that God was with him in his tears and in his repentance. I believe God is with you and with me, not just in our finest moments, but also in our weakest and most cowardly moments, too. I believe God is with us when the pastures are dead and brown, I believe God is with us when the waters are troubled and churning and threatening destruction.
And when the crowd of men shouted and rushed him, dragged him out of the city to kill him, I believe God was with Stephen. I believe the Good Shepherd was with Stephen in this moment of evil. Even though there was no miraculous saving of Stephen, even though God was silent, I believe God was present.
I believe God is with you and with me when an addiction threatens to destroy us and all whom we love; when illness strips us of vigor and vitality and dignity; when our child is in trouble and seemingly beyond our reach, our love, our power to help or heal. I believe God is with us when our loyalties are divided and our wisdom to choose or decide fails us. I believe God is with us when the darkness around us never lifts, even in the bright noonday sun. I believe God is with us when we have been abandoned by everyone we counted on and we feel so alone. The angry crowd of men rushing upon us, seizing us, and threatening us, can take many forms—but I believe God, even if silent, is with us in that moment.
I believe that the shepherd and guardian of Stephen's soul was present when he prayed and knelt and asked forgiveness for those who killed him. I believe that the shepherd and guardian of our souls is present with us in life and in death. I believe that Stephen could not have spoken his prayers without the rod and the staff of the Good Shepherd to support him and give him strength. If the Shepherd was invisible to Stephen's killers, I believe that Stephen could see him clearly. Most of us here today have not been tested to point of dying, but everyone of us comes here with some test, some moment, that felt as dark and final as death. Perhaps you experienced the presence of the Good Shepherd, perhaps your vision cleared and you saw the shepherd and guardian of your soul, perhaps not. Whether or not you sensed the presence of God, I believe God was with you, and you were with God and in God in that moment. I believe it.
In the story of Stephen we find the beauty and calm of green pastures and still waters and the utter horror of the valley of the shadow of death. The Good Shepherd is present in both. Let Stephen's story vividly remind us that the personal and individual care celebrated in the 23rd Psalm comes to us in the calmest and finest of places and in the darkest most terrifying regions. While we may be distressed to find ourselves fair weather disciples (loving and praising God only when it is easy or convenient), the scriptures remind us that our God is constant and faithful in his love no matter what our circumstances and no matter the strength of our response.
I believe that God is with us if we give or if we receive. I believe God is with us if we serve or if we are being served. I believe God is with us in our moments of joy and in our moments of sorrow. I believe God is with us in our best moments and in our worst moments. I believe that God is with us in our easy times and in our difficult times. God is with us in the green pastures and beside the still waters, and God is with us, or should I say, God is especially with us, in the valley of the shadow of death.
I pray that you will never doubt that the shepherd and guardian of your soul is constant in his attention and love. I pray that you will be blessed with eyes to see the Good Shepherd, ears to hear his voice, the heart to respond, and the voice to sing his praises, not just in the green pastures but also in the valley of the shadow of death.
I pray that you will be blessed, as I believe Stephen was, with the abundant life promised by our Lord to those who know him. I pray that you will have the chance to invite others into relationship with the Lord so that they too may enjoy abundant life, no matter their circumstances. Amen.
The Rev. Daniel Rondeau
drondeau@stmargarets.org
21 April 2002