"Brad loved working in the garden; he planted all of our rose bushes. He loved tennis, swimming, cycling, walking. He loved children, reading, learning...he loved all of life! Time was very important to him; he didn't believe in misusing it. 'Do it, do it right and do it on time,' he'd say. Some of that came from his years in the Navy, but it was also just part of who he was. He was a born leader and decision maker." (Carol Hall)
The New Year is here and if you're like the majority of us ordinary folk, you've probably made a resolution or two to "clean up your act" in the months ahead. I know I have joined a good percentage of you, firmly resolving to reduce both the intake of food and the size of my waist. As the morning TV reports tell us, diet and exercise are number one and two on most everyone's hit list of favorite resolutions.
I think making resolutions for the New Year is a good and helpful thing to do. So, along with less fat and more walking, I'd like to suggest a few more to add to your list. They are mostly some bits of wisdom that I've collected over the past year. I call them "Rules of the Road," rules which can help us navigate the often rough waters of life. (The heart of this list comes from two great American philosophers, Ann Landers and Dear Abby.)
(1) I read an article recently about the wonderful Amish folk of eastern Pennsylvania. It seems that when they make their quilts, they weave in a pattern of both sunshine and shadow. Thus they allow the truth about life's ups and downs, accepting and balancing opposites, seeing life as both / and rather than either / or.
So, strike a balance in your life between sun and shadow, between work and play, between seriousness and laughter. Go to church regularly and also to a ball game or the movies. The more balance you create in your life, the more stable that life will become.
(2) Stick with the truth, even if it makes you look or feel badly. Falsehoods are like wandering ghosts, they show up in the darndest places and at most unwelcome times. Will Rogers put it best when he said, "Always speak in such a way that you would not be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."
(3) Always in telling the truth, let us remember to speak carefully, guarding what we say, speaking with love and kindness. The tongue can be a dangerous weapon as the biblical book of James reminds us:
"The tongue is like a spark which can set a forest fire. When our tongues get out of control and are restless, they can spread a deadly poison, but when you control your tongue you are mature and you can control your whole life."
Gossip and criticism are the two greatest deterrents to healthy and loving relationships. Most of us are very good at public criticism and not very proficient at praise. But the fact remains: praise builds up, criticism tears down. Resolve this year to give a pat on the back, a smile, a thank you, a little patience and forbearance. It will go a long way to improving your year.
(4) Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without their fair share of sorrow and misfortune. In the end, it is what you do with it that really counts.
A corollary to this reminds us that when your fear of dying gets in the way of your love of living, the ultimate death rate is still one hundred percent...and you would be getting gypped if everyone got to die and you didn't.
(5) Don't underestimate the ability of God to straighten out tough situations in your life. The key to this, as our friends in AA programs learn, is: You gotta give the situations over to God and you gotta give Him a little time.
I remember reading an interesting article a couple of years ago about life in India. Along the rural roads in that country there are shelves built on top of posts at shoulder height. The shelves are called soma tongas. People who walk the roads carrying great loads thrown over their shoulders can stop and place their load on the soma tonga to rest awhile without having to bend down. So it is not surprising that new Christians in India called Christ, "my soma tonga."
"Come unto me all ye that travail and are heavy-laden and I will refresh you." This year don't underestimate the ability of God to straighten out any situation in your life.
(6) Resolve to stay fully involved with the living world. Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress. Fall in love with lots of things: children, books, sports cars, the theater, music, hills, the sea, gardening, the Bible and, especially, friends...everything but money!
And learn to share your life with a friend. Friendships are some of the most important and yet most elusive joys of life. I'll have a lot more to say next week about friendship.
(7) Some "short and sweet" bits of wisdom as we near the end:
* Winston Churchill had some good advice for young men. Never try to climb a wall that's leaning into you; never try to kiss a person leaning away from you, and never speak to a group that knows more about a subject than you do.
* Writer Marion Wright Edelman reminds us again there's no such thing as a free lunch.
* An optimist is a person who, when treed by a lion, enjoys watching the scenery.
* And, as Abraham Lincoln put it so well, "people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
(8) Don't live in the past. An unwholesome preoccupation with the old things of life and the past leads to depression and as we have all learned, it is very hard to cope when you are depressed. Choose to live your life in the present and keep one eye on the horizon looking ahead for the good things that will come your way this year.
(9) And that leads me to the final resolution on their year's list: Remember that life...things, events and people, will change, and all too often, when we are most unprepared for that change.
Just when life seems to be humming along a familiar road, something happens to change our course and we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. That happened to me last Sunday when to my great surprise I read the last of my favorite comics, "Calvin and Hobbes." It seems that artist/writer Bob Waterson announced a couple of months ago that he would close his popular comic sections and seek a new way through life, a new horizon, as he put it. And so his last page was a magnificent commentary on change. Calvin and Hobbes discover it has snowed overnight. Their familiar world looks brand new under its cover of snow; it's a magical world, a day full of possibilities. The two friends jump on their toboggan with a glorious last line: "Let's go exploring!"
And, with the departure of these two good friends, let's remember that our year ahead is also full of possibilities. Let's go exploring together! Amen.
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